Back to my cage again.

Recently people are having common test/ submitting their projects, they don't

really need to show up in school from 8.30 to 6 like me.

it's very disheartening fact to know.

so far, i'm used to fyp lifestyle. tried my best not

to whine and complain because i know if i'm out to work in future, it will be worse and

i will definitely miss moments like this in school. :)

i was on the way to school this morning, pretty lucky to catch the bus because of the

kind bus driver uncle who saw me chasing it and waited for me.

Every morning i woke up, get prepared for school, rushing for bus and etcetc, there are

always overwhelming of thoughts going through my mind.

thoughts about all things that happened to me and others, every little small things i will ponder over and over again, until these strings of thoughts got tangled into knots all over the place.

i was determined to write it down in my blog, but i ended up to be lost of any suitable words to describe all the things running in my mind.

For example, you have strike 4d suddenly, and you won 6 millions bucks.

in words, you typed " i'm so happy!!!!", but at that point of time, the happiness in you

is definitely more than what you typed.

words, are somehow a form of expressing one's feeling,

but they are never enough to express one's feeling fully.

And yet, i hoped i'm a good writer because I

have somehow forgot to express myself in all forms.

for all my life, i have always been go-with-the-flow kind of girl,

if you're my friend you will know i will never plan things, i go with things which are planned.

i'll go with anything that are planned even if i dislike it.

because having disagreement and conflict is the last thing on my mind.

As i grow up, i learnt how to reject people gently,

because i really can't bring myself do it.

What's bugging me is that my gentle rejection is mistaken as a twisted agreement.

i wonder sometimes it is really my fault to say a no with a laugh.

i felt helpless when the "no" is neglected and the laugh behind is "magnified"

and i looked that the people who have a strong personality and character,while i pondered.

a person might not started up to be stubborn and strong, it might be the reality which build up

a character with strong answers and stands without having the fear of offending someone.

it is admirable and yet scary.

Do i really have to become a person like this?

******